2007

NEWS FLASHES 07
This page contain news and updates. Check back for the latest on 24T.

Update January 2, 2007
Mother Nature finally sent our way a few inches of snow and colder nighttime temperatures. We have rolled the 5K, 4K, and 2K trails at Telemark and will continue to work to try to have ready a skiable course. The weather forecast is calling for daytime temperatures in the mid-30s and lows in the 20s with a chance of snow or rain later in the week. We will post an update of the course conditions on the morning of Thursday January 4.

Our top priority is to have a quality and SAFE events so these are our options:

Other plans:

Regarding lodging:

Continue to check the website 24hoursoftelemark.com for updates or call the Cable Chamber of Commerce at: (800-533-7454)

Cheers and Think Snow,

The 24T gang

12/28 Solo freak update:
Breaking news for the Mens 24T Solo Freaks Category, Matt Aro has had a change of heart and will indeed enter that event. He has been travelling the Northlands looking for available snow to ramp up his training. We welcome him back in his attempt to regain his title.

From 24T command central:
The 2007 24T is shaping up to be a great event. Our generous sponsors have donated some fantastic products so our traditional Mega Schwagg Fest drawings will be the best ever. Everyone has a chance to win some really cool gear during the the awards ceremony gala affair.

It may be the case that the 24 Hour Men's Solo Freak category will be wide open this year because the past champions, Chris Ransom and Matt Aro, will past on that category this time around and leave the battle to up to other long distance freaks. Should be fun to watch.

Also check out our new page "24T Lonely Heart Club" to assist you in locating additional team members or being hooked up onto a team.

Think Snow. Cheers, The 24T gang.

New categories for this year

TRASH TALK
Got trash talk? E-mail Harry and we'll post your humorous and well-spirited provocations here.

To: the Numbskis
The Numbskis who filed a questionable protest last year to bump the highly popular "Chix & Hix on Stix" team off the podium, have succumbed to their own guilt. For the 2007 24T, they have appropriately renamed their team "The Lying, Cheating Numbskis". But even with their usual shenanigans, they will be soundly thrashed by the Chix & Hix. L&C Numbskis, can you smell burnt toast?

Your friend, Harry

To: Mark Howard
We usually don't take anonymous provocations (what's the fun in that?), but in this instance we've made an exception:

Mark Howard is going down!

Your friend, Anonymous

Reply from Mark Howard
I've done my homework. My brain and body are prepared. See you at the show!

Sincerely, Mark Howard

To: Dumber Than Dirt
After having read Mr. Van Valkenberg's wonderful article in Silent Sports regarding the 24T, we are outraged that you completely discounted the mighty force of Team Eat, Bowl, Relax in the 24 Hour Classic event! You only mentioned the rivalry with the sometimes present Birchleggers. This has inspired us only to think more often about training for the 2007 event! Don't forget that although you may hold the 24 hour record, Team EBR has accumulated the most total kilometers skied in the past 5 races and we have smoked you off the course twice. Let's not also forget that EBR holds the unofficial 24 hour classic solo record from 2005 at 165 kilometers (aka Kurt Halverson). See you in the bar on the January 5!

Your friends, Team Eat, Bowl, Relax

Reply from Dumber than Dirt
Dear Eat, Bowl, Relax

OH I APOLOGIZE! Believe me it is not the style of any member of the upstanding Dumber Than Dirt team to consciously snub any competitors so please just consider it an unconscious snub. Besides you've only got yourselves to blame. You're just too damn nice. The Birchleggers on the other hand were quick to rise to the bait and shovel verbal excrement on DTD via the pen, keyboard, crayon or whatever utensil Mitch Mode uses for his vituperative diatribes. But to give credit where credit is due, Mode is the kind who can run a business, ski 24 hours and write regularly. I on the other hand, he of the beer-addled, pixilated grey matter, have the Gerald Ford syndrome (God rest his soul and hope he doesn't trip over his own or Nixon's shoe laces in the great beyond) of not being able to apply klister and think of Pamela Anderson at the same time. But not a problem for 24-T '07! I am taking a hiatus from the DTD crew, a sabbatical of sorts that will allow new blood to bolster the team while I take a much deserved rest and ski one of the short daytime ancillary events, volunteer a bit and hang at the bar a lot. This will not effect my allegiance to my dear Dumber Than Dirt team. So, the upshot, dear EBR skiers, is that there will likely be more than enough literary diarrhea to go around. That's the good news. The other news is that my above mentioned article in Silent Sports had some very unintended consequences. "Classic record? You mean there's a classic 24-T record." Yes, the article was like throwing a steak in a cage of starving Atkins dieters. From what I hear there'll be a classic team out of Twinkville that will gun for the record, there's a rabid bunch from SO E WI who train by Cat Skiing the Black Loop at Lapham and seem to have the goal of annihilating anybody found possessing grip wax, and there are rumors of a MadNorski classic crew that might have a collective age below 200 years (is that allowed?). So you may have to face the fact that EBR and DTD will be battling for the cellar rather than the podium. Classic is suddenly hot and the sad reality is that other than in our dreams - I still picture Yuha Mieto's incredible stride and like to think I ski that way - we are probably no warmer than..., well global climate change seems to have robbed me of appropriate analogies. "See you in the bar," is likely the best promise I can make this year.

So, as Tricky-Dicky once said to Gerry, "Pardon Me",

Phil, aka Pee Wee, Van Valkenberg

Reply from Eat, Bowl, Relax
Dear Dumber Than Dirt,

At a recent EBR team meeting, our esteemed team captain stood, medals from more than 50 ski marathons shining on his chest, ski poles in hand, ivory-handled wax iron at his side, and addressed us thusly: Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a 24 hour ski relay by dying for his team. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his team.

Men, all this stuff you've heard about EBR not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the 24T, is a lot of horse dung. EBR, traditionally, loves to fight. All real classic skiers love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball players, the toughest boxers. EBR loves a winner and will not tolerate a loser. EBR plays to win all the time. Now, I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why EBR has never lost and will never lose a relay. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to EBR.

Now, Eat Bowl Relax is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for Silent Sports don't know anything more about real skiing than they do about fornicating.

Now, we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going up against. By God, I do. We're not just going to pass those bastards. We're going to cut out their living guts and use them to clean our wax irons. We're going to murder those lousy Dumber Than Dirt and Birchleggers bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken-out in the cold. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. DTD are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Ski pole them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was the last of your Power Grip wax, you'll know what to do.

Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything. Let DTD do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything -- except the enemy. We're going to hold onto them by the nose, and we're gonna kick them in the ass. We're gonna kick the hell out of them all the time, and we're gonna go through them like crap through a goose! Now, there's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home, and you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, "What did you do in the great 24 Hour Relay?" -- you won't have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in one of the port-a-potties." Alright now you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel.

Oh, I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys in the 24T anytime, anywhere.

The 11th Annual • January 8-9, 2011 • cable, wi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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